The Wicked Ingénue

With my 28th birthday being tomorrow, I’ve found myself reflecting on birthdays past. More specifically, embarrassing birthdays past. The following are a few of my greatest hits (which others should avoid if at all possible).

1. Drink too much champagne and fall into the Bellagio Lake…while the dancing water show is going off (to Andrea Bocelli’s “Con Te Partiro”).

2. Go to an IMAX show that simulates underwater exploration of the Titanic the morning after consuming six bottles of wine…then upchuck all over your mom’s dashboard.

3. Have your hair catch on fire while blowing out nineteen candles on the cake…and try to put out the flames with Gordon’s Vodka.

4. Hurl while dancing on a table in a nightclub…with your casino executive bosses sitting directly below you.

5. Run across Las Vegas Blvd. without using the crosswalk…in the middle of 45+ mph traffic.

I guess it’s no coincidence that most of these incidents occurred in Vegas, eh? So glad I’ll be bringing in 28 quietly and with a few select people I really care about. It’s still fun to look back and laugh, though.