The Wicked Ingénue

You may or may not be wondering at this point why I decided to name my blog “The Wicked Ingénue” (in fact, it was pointed out to me that some readers may not know what an ingénue is). In addition to making me sound cool and badass (even though I’m really quite the nerd), there’s actually a more poignant meaning behind the title.

Let’s start off by looking at the definitions of the key words:

Wicked*: In this case, I’m using wicked as a slang term: clever, trendsetting, innovative, hip, wise, etc.

Example: “You know that scene in ‘James Bond’ where Daniel Craig gets out of the water and he’s wearing those short, butt-hugging swim trunks? That was wicked!”

*I considered using “experienced”, “conditioned”, “worldly”, and “seasoned”, but those words sound way too academic essay-ish. Besides, I think there’s something sexy about the word “wicked”.

Ingénue*: The term “ingénue” is used in regard to writing and acting, and it refers to a character who’s wholesome, innocent, naive, and uncorrupted.

Example: Pretty much every female Disney character ever created.

*I love any excuse to use a word with a cool accent symbol. Woot!

Okay. With the technicalities out of the way, we can move on with the story.

So a couple weeks ago, I went to my writing mentor’s house (let’s call her The Mentor). We were discussing my memoir (tentatively titled The Vegas Diaries), and I was telling her about how I ended up in Vegas and what I did while I was there. The Mentor sort of marveled at everything I told her, then remarked:

“You know, it’s funny – you come across as being so wholesome, do-gooding, responsible, and conscientious, but your past (dropping out of high school, running away from home, becoming a showgirl, getting involved in various vices, putting up with an abusive relationship, etc.) seems to contradict all of those qualities”.

I’d never really thought about it before, but after considering what she said, I was like, “Sheyeah. Totally. I’m a living, breathing contradiction.”

And that’s how The Wicked Ingénue came into being. And they all lived hap—

Wait a minute. Hold up. It wasn’t as simple as that. There were some excruciating labor pains along the way, believe you me. No pain = no precious bundle of joy, after all.

My first idea was to call the blog – don’t laugh – “Life Is A Highway” (okay, go ahead). I was never happy with that title, though. To me, it was like one of those plastic babies they give you to practice on in Home Ec. You try to love, nurture, and tend to Plastic Baby, but your heart’s not in it because you know it’s not the real thing. For me, “Life Is a Highway” was the equivalent of Plastic Baby (not to mention I was sick of having that friggin song stuck in my head 24/7. Sorry, Rascal Flatts).

I’ve been anxious to launch this website for a while, and my unhappiness with the blog title was one of the main things holding me back. So I sat at my desk the other night and vowed not to get up until I settled on a name. I asked myself questions like, “How do I want to be perceived? What’s going to intrigue and excite my readers? What do I want out of this website? What do I want out of life? Who am I, anyway? What am I doing here? Do I really even exist? What’s my purpose? Are you there, God? It’s me, KB.”

Heh. I’ve actually never read about Margaret, but that’s neither here nor there.

Those self-directed questions would be difficult to answer, and I think that’s because, like The Mentor said, my qualities are contradictory. Extremely contradictory. I’m a walking, breathing contradiction. A walking, breathing contradiction. That’s it!

I am The Wicked Ingénue. Hear me roar.

—pily ever after.

I heart hot, clear, sunny weather. It’s one of the reasons why I’ll never leave California (okay, so there was that six-year stint in Las Vegas, but at least the weather’s comparable). I love the beach and convertibles and sundresses and pool parties and frosty margaritas and using the outdoor grill for every meal. May through September is my favorite time of year because I get to indulge in all of those things.

October through March is an entirely different story (April is neutral). I absolutely loathe cold weather. I loathe heavy coats and closed-toed shoes (unless they’re super hot boots) and bare branches and the crappy produce selection and the agony of waking up early on chilly mornings. And snow – holy crap. I won’t even go there. I couldn’t go there if I wanted to since I’ve only seen snow, like, twenty times in my entire life.

Since October is right around the corner, I know my mood is going to automatically transition to somber and melancholy. I don’t like feeling that way, and I certainly don’t like dragging others into a pit of downer shit, so . . . I’m forcing myself to Fall in love. I made a list of things I enjoy that are associated with Fall and Winter, and I’ve made a vow to look at it every time I turn into that emo chick no one wants to be around (isn’t there a medical disorder associated with seasons? The name of it escapes me).

Anyway, here’s what I came up with:

1. Homemade butternut squash soup.

2. Super hot boots.

3. Dressing up for Halloween. I think I’m going to be sexy Snow White this year.

4. The Italian feast at Grandpa’s on Christmas Eve.

5. My birthday (in February).

6. Fun socks and knitted caps.

7. Using the fireplace.

8. Dark nail polish.

9. Holiday gatherings with family.

10. Cuddling.

You know what’s sad? I honestly had a hard time coming up with ten things. I can’t wait to do another one of these come May – that’ll be a cinch!

Anyone have any thoughts on what else is awesome about Fall/Winter? It’s only the end of September and I’m already in need of a boost.

So, um . . . yeah. It’s been a while since I’ve blogged, hasn’t it? Almost nine months, in fact. I didn’t realize it’d been that long until I counted the time on my fingers just now.

Tee-hee. Adults who finger-count are awesome.

Many of you reading this probably know me from Myspace. I was a frequent blogger over there for a few years, although never a “top blogger”. I didn’t like the games, drama, and politics that saturated the Myspace blogging scene, and to be honest, I didn’t think the popular bloggers’ writing was very good. Sure, there were a few diamonds in the rough, but you really had to dig. This is one of the reasons why I began to drift away. I know I’m not alone in said drifting – basically all of my favorite Myspacers left to blog on different sites and/or start their own site, which is a really smart move. It just took me a while to follow suit, mostly because I wasn’t sure I had the desire to keep blogging.

When you’ve been off the radar for a while, it’s difficult to come back and start at square one. It reminds me of when I was new to Myspace and I posted about fifteen blogs before I finally got some responses. It’s like, why am I doing this again? Seriously. But when you finally do establish a loyal audience, it makes all those early days of nothingness worth it.

On a side note, I’m not surprised that my early blogs got no response. They were awful. I mean, one of my first blogs was about buying cleaning supplies at the drugstore (and has since been deleted). Totally rad and stimulating . . . not!

Anyway, the thing I’ve missed most about blogging is the interaction with my readers, and that’s why I decided to get serious and launch my own site. I’ve been rather lethargic in getting the ball rolling with it, but you’ll be happy to know I haven’t been slacking in other areas. I’m going into my last year as an undergraduate, I’m applying for graduate school, I’m working on several writing projects, and, of course, I’ve been continuing to work on “The Vegas Diaries”. I’m going to expand on what’s going on with the memoir in a future blog, but if you need a refresher or if you’re a new reader, check out “The Vegas Diaries” link at the top of the page.

Running my own site is totally new to me, so I might make a few changes here and there. I haven’t just poked my head out of the birth canal, but I’m not walking yet, either, so feel free to make suggestions or let me know what you want to see more of. My goal is to post at least one blog per week (and I’ll try to make them shorter – I promise! Those of you who’re familiar with my blogs know that I can be rather loquacious), so make sure you subscribe by clicking on the lovely custom-made button up there on the right. And if you’d like to check me out on Facebook and Twitter, there’re buttons for that, too.

I think that’s about it for now. It feels great to be back, and it feels great to finally have a place to call home sweet virtual home. I totally need one of those little knitted pillows to put on my keyboard.

Acknowledgement: Kerry: I have to publicly thank you for helping me with this site. If you hadn’t put this together and encouraged me to start blogging again, I’d probably still be dragging my heels. Thanks for being so awesome.